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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24104359">Sad Forever</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverxcrown/pseuds/silverxcrown'>silverxcrown</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!! Rare Pair Week 2020 [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Magic, Alternate Universe - Medieval, Angst, King!Ushijima, M/M, Mage!Moniwa, Magic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-03 00:15:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,117</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24104359</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverxcrown/pseuds/silverxcrown</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Shiratorizawa is in a war they can't win. Moniwa refuses to lose his love and does something to change their fate.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Moniwa Kaname &amp; Ushijima Wakatoshi, Moniwa Kaname/Ushijima Wakatoshi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!! Rare Pair Week 2020 [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1723057</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Sad Forever</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>DAY 4 - Victory | Castle | Magic AU! Ushimoni.</p>
<p>I know I'm suuuper late for HQ!! Rare Pair Week, but better late than never (this is my motto in life, for like everything lmao).</p>
<p>I saw this prompt and automatically yelled USHIMONI!</p>
<p>So, yeah, I hope you guys enjoy this (even if it hurts). It's my first time making UshiMoni angst, it made me sad while writing but I'm fairly proud of this one.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>There was no such thing as a real winner in war. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>No matter whose side they were fighting for, people lose their lives. Victories were nothing more but attributed to the side who had fewer lows.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When the glorious and peaceful kingdom of Shiratorizawa was declared war to by another bigger and powerful kingdom, they never stood a chance. Nor in number, nor capacity. The military forces of Shiratorizawa were strong, but not as strong as the enemy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ushijima Wakatoshi, the king, tried to avoid war any way he could. He held back the confrontation for months, but the thing was that war was inevitable. The enemy wanted their lands, wanted to make them suffer. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t have to do it, you know?” Moniwa whispered, the night before the great battle. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shiratorizawa’s external defenses had lost, the enemy was marching to the gates of the great Eagle’s castle. The plan was to meet them some kilometers away from the castle, to give their all, and if they failed… for the people to have enough time to escape. Moniwa hated the plan, for he would have to stay in the castle and Ushijima to the front.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know that’s not true,” Ushijima whispered back, playing with Moniwa’s curls. They were lying down in bed, cuddling in the dark, without being able to sleep due to the nerve-wracking deadly silence of the waiting.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why do you have to go?” he insisted, his heart pounding in his chest loudly, and a hollow in his stomach. He wondered if Ushijima felt it too. Ushijima had taken the whole situation with a serene face, the decisions made with clear head… Only Moniwa knew how he broke every night just thinking about losing his people.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ushijima didn’t answer, because Moniwa already knew the answer anyways. He wished he could convince Ushijima of staying, of no going to the battlefront, but he, better than anyone, knew it was impossible. Ushijima loved his people, his kingdom and he was going to die with them. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Moniwa loved that part of him, and he hated it too.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ushijima kissed him, preventing Moniwa to ask more questions he was never gonna get an answer to. And he kissed him again, and again until the sun started to poke up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Moniwa helped Ushijima to put on his armor, and mount his horse. He watched helplessly as Ushijima gave his speech to his soldiers. And as the king’s mage, Moniwa did his duty of putting protective spells on the castle, and on the soldiers. There was nothing he could do, and that made him feel useless and impotent as he saw Ushijima leave the castle, riding his horse and with Shiratorizawa’s eagle as a shield.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As soon as his figure was invisible even for him, Moniwa was possessed by a wave of immense anger and grief.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ushijima was not going to come back. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He had seen it in dreams and was not ready for Ushijima to die. Having magic and being unable to do anything was making him feel impotent. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Magic was not miraculous. Magic wasn’t omnipotent. Magic had a price. The most he could do was protect the castle but in battle… he was useless, and that made him angry, like a caged animal. But he had an idea, an idea he wasn’t sure he had thought before but didn’t decide he was going to perform until that exact moment.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was not ready to let Ushijima die. Or the kingdom to fall. And while he could do nothing, he knew </span>
  <em>
    <span>someone</span>
  </em>
  <span> that could.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Without letting anyone else know, he grabbed a horse and rode towards the woods, opposite direction of the battle. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Forbidden dark magic was the most powerful one, and it always came with a price. Moniwa couldn’t perform such type of magic, but the pagan witch in the depth of the woods could. She was feared, and a lot of stories circulated around about her, enough to drive people away. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He rode for over an hour, deeper and deeper into the woods. He then found a small and murky cottage. Animal bones, a dense fog, and bad omens surrounded the dark place, making him shiver. Still, he got off his uneasy horse and walked towards the cottage.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He could feel someone looking at him from the darkness, making him feel nervous. Moniwa was not exactly a brave person after all.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know you’re there. I can feel you,” he said, body trembling. He was proud of himself though, for being able to speak clearly at all.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Moniwa Kaname. The King’s mage. I know why you’re here,” a feminine and deep voice answered from nowhere and everywhere at the same time. Moniwa flinched at her voice, reasoning all over the place.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If you already know, then there is no time to waste,” he said, feeling his throat dry. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In the middle of the fog, a woman’s figure appeared. Shimizu Kiyoko emerged from the mist. She was stunning, as the stories said. Beautiful and mysterious, and known for having broken the rules of magic and dealing with dark magic. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“There is no turning back from what you want to do. The price is ultimate...” she warned him. But Moniwa didn’t look away and nodded.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know,”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’ll never see him again,” she added, raising her brows. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know,” he smiled sadly to himself. Just because he wasn’t ready to let Ushijima go, it didn’t mean he wasn’t ready to let himself go.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shimizu looked at him for a second, and Moniwa thought he saw a hint of sadness in her cold eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Follow me,” she said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Moniwa did as she asked, and followed her through the dense mist. He left his horse behind, and soon the cottage was invisible too. He could only see the shadows of the trees and Shimizu’s figure in front of him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Every step he took felt wrong. He was taught as a white magic warlock. He had never done something remotely dark with his magic, so naturally, all his instincts screamed at him to turn back and run away. But he knew white magic could do nothing to save Ushijima, nor the kingdom, while black magic could. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was the only option besides accepting fate. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After some minutes of walking, they arrived at a glare. Surrounded by the mist, but there was none inside of the stone circle surrounding a stone shrine. Candles lit when Shimizu stepped inside the circle, and Moniwa could see that the shrine, the trees, and stones were full of ancient and forbidden runes and symbols. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was scared beyond reason, doubting for the first time since he left the castle because the uneasiness was too much for him to handle. Going against his instincts was harder than he ever thought.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You can still turn around and leave,” she said. She really didn’t have to tell him what to do, since it was obvious he should lay down on the shrine.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Moniwa found curious how she warned him so much, it made him think she wasn’t exactly evil as he thought.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If I do…” he started, looking at her and fighting his tears. He was unimaginably afraid, but he was also strong of will. He gulped. “If I do return and don’t do this… will Ushijima return to me? Will the kingdom be free?” he asked. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He didn’t even try anymore to seem brave, his anguish and sorrow were evident. The witch didn’t hide her own anguish either and looked at him as if she were looking at a grave.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ushijima Wakatoshi will die by the hand of the enemy, and the people will be slaughtered and slavered. That’s what destiny says,” she said, sadly. “But you already know that, don’t you?” she inquired.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Moniwa left out a bitter laugh, feeling his chest sink. He did have had dreams about the horrors of war, and Ushijima’s dead weeks prior. He had seen Ushijima die, he had seen how the enemy king would plunge his sword in Ushijima’s chest, and how the towers of the castle would burn. He had seen children die inside the walls… But somehow, hearing it from Shimizu’s lips made him feel like what he was doing was not selfish but the right and the only thing to do.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m ready,” he said then. His body stopped trembling as he walked towards the stone altar and lay down in the middle of a huge symbol of dark magic.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He felt strangely calm laying down, feeling the cold, and looking at the sunless sky. The sun was probably shinning above Ushijima’s head in those moments, but not there. There was no sun in the woods.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He closed his eyes and thought about Ushijima. How they met, how long it took them to be together. He thought about his mage friends; Futakuchi, always in trouble but an exceptional wizard nonetheless, Aone, Kamasaki, Sasaya… so many people he loved and he was saving by exchanging his soul for a victory.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Thinking about all of those precious moments and people… the price seemed small.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shimizu started chanting an ancient spell, and while Moniwa did his best to ignore the sounds, the darkness, and cold starting to surround him. He could feel the cold hands of dark beings, their claws and teeth, taking his soul away forever. He lost consciousness when the darkness took all of him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But suddenly, there was warmth. He refused to open his eyes at first, but feeling a slight pressure on his chest made him wake up abruptly. He sat down on the stone shrine, and when he could focus anything, he saw Shimizu sitting next to him. Apparently, she had hit him hard on the chest, and she looked proud of it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What happened? Why am I alive?” he demanded, feeling rushed and anxious to know if the spell worked. If he had done it at last. Shimizu smiled. It was a warm smile that would have made Moniwa blush if he weren’t so concerned about the outcome of the ritual.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You aren’t... I mean, you’re technically dead,” she said. “I managed to get you some time in your body to say goodbye and get things done,” she said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Moniwa frowned in distrust. “Why would you do that for me?” he asked, defensive. He didn’t want anyone else to pay for that,</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shimizu looked at him in the eyes. “Because your sacrifice is for love. You gave up your soul, and condemn it to wander around in the darkness for eternity to save those you love,” she explained. “Sacrifices made for love are precious and valuable even for us, creatures of darkness. The price didn’t change, your soul is still doomed,  we’re just allowing you to have closure,” she explained. Shimizu grabbed Moniwa’s left hand and sank her nails, making him growl in pain as a small drop of blood emerged. The drop of blood turned black right away, like a stain. “The time you have left on your body is until your hands turn completely black,” she warned.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Moniwa looked at the small circle, and then to the witch, that wondered. It took him a minute to process the thought of having some </span>
  <em>
    <span>time</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you,” he whispered and didn’t wait for a response from Shimizu. He jumped out of the altar and started to run in the woods, looking for the way out. He had no time to waste after all.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He dashed away so fast, that he didn’t see Shimizu’s sad expression, wondering if she did the right thing. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Wouldn’t it be more painful to say an actual goodbye?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Moniwa ran for at least ten minutes, stumbling several times until he found his horse tied up to a tree. He didn’t put enough attention to his surrounding, he just rode his horse and dashed away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The moment he went out of the woods, the sky was orange, making his heart race. The battle should have ended by that time. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Where the hell have you been? I’ve been looking for you all damn day...” he was received by an alarmed Futakuchi at the gates. At least, he thought, there were still gates, that was a piece of good news.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Moniwa, knowing it was the last time he would see his friend, jumped out and hugged him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Woah, woah, woah, what the fuck is this?” Futakuchi growled, but after a couple of seconds, patted Moniwa on the back. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“A hug… it’s the first time I give you one, right?” he said, looking at his tall friend, who was slightly blushing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Futakuchi scoffed, distracted. “I’m gonna pretend that didn’t happen. Anyways, we got news from the front line a couple of hours ago,” Futakuchi was unable to contain his huge smile. “We won! Moniwa-senpai, we won! They are on their way back, they’ll be here anytime soon” he said, happily.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Moniwa felt the hole in his chest disappear for a second, and tears gathered in his eyes. It worked!</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m so glad… seriously, I’m so… glad,” he cried, with his hands on his chest.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Futakuchi did not expect him to cry, for he frowned and patted him. Even took his hands to console him, when he saw it…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Moniwa-san…” he called him, looking at his palm with a dark expression. Moniwa was too busy feeling relieved knowing his dreams would never come true to even care.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Moniwa-san, what did you do?” he asked so hard that Moniwa had no choice but to look at his own hand. There was a pitch-black spot that had grown a lot since he saw it in the woods.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I had to,” he said, softly, letting go of Futakuchi, who looked at him with distrust and sadness. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Futakuchi was an intelligent man, and it was not hard for him to connect the dots of Moniwa missing the entire day, the miraculous victory, and now the sign of dark magic on Moniwa’s hand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I knew it,” he said. “Victory was impossible but I still wanted to believe…” Futakuchi choked. You went to </span>
  <em>
    <span>her</span>
  </em>
  <span>, didn’t you? Why did you do it? Moniwa-san…” he cried, making Moniwa’s heart soft.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Because I couldn’t let everyone die. It </span>
  <em>
    <span>had</span>
  </em>
  <span> to be done. I… I can’t ask you to understand, and I understand if you despise me for recurring to black magic, but I saved them, I saved us, it’s all that matters,” Moniwa insisted. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Save us or save </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>, your beloved?” Futakuchi hissed. Moniwa’s expression changed. He felt like he had just stabbed him in the chest, but well… he wasn’t entirely wrong. Even when Moniwa insisted he had done it for everybody, that everybody was primarily Ushijima.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Before Futakuchi could reproach more, Moniwa snapped back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“When I’m gone, you’ll succeed me. I want you to guide Ushi-... the king wisely and be kind,” he said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But I-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I believe in you,” Moniwa said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Futakuchi was ready to keep arguing, but the trumpets filled the space, announcing the return of the king and his brave soldiers who protected the kingdom.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Moniwa’s attention was then on the gate, feeling his heart pound loudly and anxiously.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The first one to enter was Ushijima, glorious with the eagle banner up high. He had lost his helmet, letting visible his sweat and mud. His sword and armor covered in blood that wasn’t his… The moment he entered, the whole castle burst into victory screams. Some people were screaming, others were crying, and others were running to search for their loved ones. It was whole chaos.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Moniwa saw Futakuchi run to search for Aone, and he did the same the moment Ushijima got off his horse. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Moniwa tackled him with force, making him and the king end up on the floor. Moniwa had him embraced from the neck, crying and feeling his warmth.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Time seemed to stop around them, their eyes could only see each other. Moniwa was crying, and Ushijima was teary too, but all that mattered was the immense happiness of being able to see each other again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you okay? Are you hurt?” Moniwa sobbed after some minutes. Nobody was paying attention to them, too busy hugging and searching for their loved ones.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Right now, I’m perfectly fine,” he said, leaning in and kissing Moniwa, who gladly corresponded.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re cold,” Ushijima noticed, making Moniwa nervous. He stole a glance at his palm; he had at least eight more hours.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, sorry,” he said, and Ushijima didn’t put too much mind it, thinking it was normal.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They went back to the castle, where they bathed, ate, and celebrated the victory. Moniwa was anxious about having Ushijima for himself and was extremely happy when the king decided to leave the party with the excuse of resting since he was pretty tired. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That night, there would be no silence, only laughs, and joy. They could see the big fires from the castle’s windows, and hear the songs from afar.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Moniwa followed Ushijima to his room and closed the door behind him. Without any word or spare time, they physically searched for each other, locked their lips, and embraced as if they hadn’t seen each other for years.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Moniwa wished to explain everything that happened, but he didn’t. He decided to enjoy time with his lover until the last minute he had. And he did exactly that. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ushijima fell asleep rather quickly, being incredibly tired from battle. Moniwa used that time to write him a letter of goodbye, even though there were no words for his feelings, for the sadness he had and the love he would always have for him. It was a hard task, but he couldn’t let Ushijima in the darkness. Moniwa was sure Ushijima would be pissed in the morning, after reading the letter… but that was what he could do best with the little time he had left.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His hand was pitch black by the time he returned to bed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Feeling the urge and desperation again, he hugged Ushijima until he felt himself being swallow by darkness again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Moniwa opened his eyes, he could still see Ushijima sleep, but he wasn’t there with him anymore and the fog of the woods was everywhere. That’s when he realized, that it was done. His paradise was over. Ushijima would wake up and would never found him, he would have to move on and would still be king, while he would wander in the darkness forever with other unfortunate souls.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Was it worth it?” Shimizu’s spectrum asked behind him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Moniwa didn’t turn to look at her, and instead just remained to look at Ushijima, still feeling the warmth of his around him and his soft lips over his. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It was worth every part of my soul,” he answered.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Bonus ending sketch: </p>
<p>- Ushijima wakes up, and when he learns what Moniwa did, he's never the same. He's sad, distant, never happy no matter what. He lives, but never marries nor has kids. He rules well, but it's sad. He's nicknamed "the sad great king" by his commoners because even though they love him, they can never make him happy. He spends the rest of his life searching for ways to bring Moniwa back, even going to Shimizu but she says is impossible to save Moniwa from where he is. He retires at the age of 50 and decides to leave the kingdom to Goshiki Tsutomu, his younger cousin. He then goes traveling around the world, still searching for a way to bring Moniwa back. At the age of 64, he gets terribly ill and goes to Shimizu's woods, where he asks her to take him where Moniwa is. Shimizu, still young and beautiful, sees how sad and demarcated life has made the great king, and accepts his petition. So she makes the ritual and sends Ushijima's soul to the same dark limbo as Moniwa, where they reunite when Ushijima dies.</p>
<p>-----------</p>
<p>I wrote this but decided to make them suffer a bit. So yeah, kind of a bitter alternate ending lmao.</p>
<p>Also just as a fun fact; Date Tech is not a kingdom, it's more like an island were witches and warlocks are trained or something. Also a small AoFuta if you guys noticed *wink wink*</p></blockquote></div></div>
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